I have come to understand grief through the metaphor of water and the well. Current events can catalyze fresh new grief, as well as unresolved grief, what we carry in a deeper reservoir of sadness.
This means that today we may be grieving not only for the present but unconsciously for the past. Sometimes a loss or grief in the present merely triggers a well of old grief. In these instances, people often report, “I don’t know what I am crying about” or “Why am I am crying so much?!”
Any tears are a blessing, and whether or not we understand our grief, it’s good to let them flow. Grief heals our pain; it is the quintessential emotional analgesic–all natural and paramountly sustainable.
The opposite, and what is arguably and unfortunately more common, is to not feel much at all. To not feel the past or the present with much depth, empathy, or compassion. This, in my experience, is often due to unresolved grief and a hardened life built around that pain.
If your heart suddenly cracks open, this is when the bucket is lowered into the well of the past and hauled up to the surface. it means this pulley system of the heart is operational again! Consider this to be an unexpected miracle, a true liberation.
When we have dealt with our past grief, we are less likely to find ourselves “excessively” emoting in the present, though we may still be overcome with sadness (a sign that our heart is open). When we have not dealt, we may find ourselves either numb or overwhelmed with sadness that seems deeper than the current situation merits.
This is not about right or wrong, just an opportunity to notice the dynamics of grief. Tears and mourning are a gift from wherever they arise, and however we view them. Understanding the internal dynamics along the channel through which past and present grief flow can help to more consciously heal in the here and now, as well as from the past.
